In my beginning is my end
Preacher: Sophie Nagler, member of Ministry Disernment Group
I am grateful and happy to be here with you today. This is the first service in St Salvator’s chapel in the new year 2024. It is a time of new beginnings. Have you made – and kept – any new year’s resolutions? We are also entering into a new university semester. This might be the beginning of your time at St Andrews – I hope it will be a good one!
In my beginning is my end.
These are the famous words at the beginning of T.S. Elliot’s poem East Coker. What do they tell us for our new beginning in the Candlemas semester of 2024?
In my beginning is my end.
Wars are raging, not only in Ukraine and Gaza. So many are grieving the loss of loved ones, the loss of a home. Lacking perspective, many flee.
In my beginning is my end.
Climate change is in full swing. People are starving as floods and draughts destroy the crops on their fields. Their anger and desperation fuels conflicts.
In my beginning is my end.
Hate is on the rise. Disinformation shapes media discourse. In the UK, anti-trans and anti-gay hate crimes have skyrocketed over the past 10 years. Racist hate crime statistics remain high.
In my beginning is my end.
Inflation is still above target. Many are tired as they struggle to buy food, pay their rent, and heat their homes. Some students cannot find an affordable place to live.
In my beginning is my end.
Is crisis-ridden 2024 the beginning of the end?
New beginnings promise opportunities. They allow us to ask: what do I want to do? Who do I want to be? Maybe this is the beginning of your last semester at St Andrews. You might ask yourself: what should I do next? Do I want to do another degree? Should I find a job? Could I even find a job at the moment? Such a process of discernment, of looking for your place in the world, can feel daunting or liberating.
The Ministry Discernment Group is all about discernment, about finding your place within the Christian community and in the world. We discuss issues related to ministry, we invite others to talk about their vocation, and we practically get involved with ministry such as by leading this service. Given our background, it seems fitting for us to reflect a bit on discernment.
As Christians, we may believe that everybody is called to a vocation, a path in the world, however twisted. This could be in ordained Christian ministry as a priest, a deacon, a pastor, or a minister. Or it is not. Maybe your vocation is as an academic, maybe you are called to become a nurse, a queer-rights activist, a statistician, or a full-time parent?
How do you discern your vocation, your calling? Today’s Old Testament reading gives a simple answer: to hear your calling, just listen to G*d. Yet, it is hard to listen. Repeatedly, Samuel was called; and repeatedly, he failed to discern Eli’s earthly voice from G*d’s higher calling.
Where is G*d’s calling in my life? All I experience are just the reasonably uneventful pushes and pulls of my life as a PhD student in philosophy, logic, language and computation. Where is the supernatural phantastic show of floating fires and angel choirs bestowing upon me a heavenly mission?
Repeatedly, G*d called Samuel but Samuel did not hear G*d. Until he decided to listen. ‘Speak, for your servant is listening’. To hear his calling, Samuel needed to choose to listen. G*d had called Samuel long before he accepted his vocation, as a priest, a prophet, and a judge. G*d had called Samuel before he chose to listen.
It is 2024, and maybe it does feel a bit like the beginning of the end. Where in this time of crises and rapid change is our place? What are we called to do? If G*d calls us like Samuel, all we need to do is listen. But how do you listen to G*d?
Here is a thought: G*d kept calling, but Samuel did not hear G*d. Could it be that we don’t hear G*d, lost as we are in the pushes and pulls of our daily life? Are we passively waiting for the beginning of the end?
G*d had called Samuel long before Samuel listened. Could it be that G*d is already calling us today, in 2024? Is G*d calling us at a time when all we seem to hear are
voices grieving amidst war,
voices angry at the injustice of climate change,
voices silenced by hate,
voices threatened by economic crisis?
Samuel heard G*d’s calling when he chose to listen. Maybe this semester, we choose to listen. Perhaps we ask ourselves: what do I choose to hear? And as I listen, what am I called to do, what do I choose to do?
In my beginning is my end.
If we choose to listen to G*d’s calling like Samuel, we might find our vocation, a new beginning. We cannot end all evils of our time. But if we all choose to listen, 2024 might be the beginning of the end to some of them.
In my beginning is my end.
Maybe, that is a good choice. Amen.